Shortly after we dropped our daughter off at her new college dorm she asked if I missed her. In response I sent her the 14 poems I had written to help me cope with her leaving. Later these poems became the seed that grew into my book Letting Go and New Beginnings: A Mother’s Poetic Journey.I also included the poems from when her older brother went off to college and photographs I took of the campus. I realized that when one phase of life ends, another begins and those poems are part of the story as well.
I thought it was finished in 2006, but more poems came when our two children returned home like many of their generation. All of us were adjusted to our separate lives and had to adjust to living together. And then, once again, the leaving.
It is a mystery why certain poems pop into my head years later, but this one has been quite insistent lately. Perhaps it is the opening lines…
For you, here is this poem from Letting Go and New Beginnings:
2/24/08
After You Left
Constantly
I am watching out for you.
Even when I am not watching,
I am watching.
I cannot say why this is true
or when it began,
it feels like forever
my love.
So do me a great favor
and become…not less carefree
nor less careless,
nor even more careful,
for being full of care
is not it exactly.
Be more aware of your choices,
more in tune with your inner wisdom.
For you are wise
dear one.
And if I am selfish
and want you to stay with me
when it is clearly time to go,
forgive…
and go.
Call me when you arrive.
I will be waiting.
Margaret Dubay Mikus
Copyright 2008