Author Archives: Margaret Dubay Mikus

On This Particular Day

Near church in SF, CA, by Margaret Dubay Mikus, Copyright 2007

Near a church in SF, CA, by Margaret Dubay Mikus, Copyright 2007

On this day of remembrance, it is important to notice what is ahead, as well as behind us. To pay attention, to make conscious choices. To have compassion for those who live in places where bombs are a regular occurrence. I was reminded of this poem I wrote years ago now, in very different times, (yet remarkably similar) . History in repeating cycles. Can we do it differently this time? All blessings and healing to those who are suffering. May grace shower down on us all.

6/7/06

Is It Thunder?

Is that thunder or
tanks rolling down the streets?
Given where we are
probably thunder, possible
herald of life-giving rain,
but then again…
these times we’re in.

What thoughts men think
that drive us to distraction.
Some go one way, some another,
but over and over the same ground
is bled upon, unkindly, unwillingly,
needlessly, with little provocation

and great loss.
Yet here we are, yet again,
those who make the decisions
deciding, justifying, lying even
to attain their own ends.
Shallow thought from shallow men
threaten to swallow us all.

Is that thunder or
cannons booming over the ridge?
Given where we are,
relatively secure, no
late-night pounding at the door.
Do we even notice

and give thanks we are here
and not elsewhere?
We hear the stories or read
in the newspaper
of tragedies far away,
of lives led in desperation,

yet we do nothing.
It seems unreal,
merely a tale told,
not inevitable consequence
of a long line of actions
by people we barely know.

Nothing to do with us
it seems…
we do not see where it leads
inevitably…Unless…
it is grace that rains upon us.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2006

Previous 9/11 post: Poems as Memory

Louise Penny on Tour

One of my very favorite authors, Louise Penny, was here this past Wed. at a local library 15 minutes from my house. Some years ago a friend recommended her books, beginning with Still Life. I was going through some serious medical problems and needed some good distraction. I’m a voracious reader. I loved the books featuring Chief Inspector Armand Gamache in the Surete du Quebec, each book individually and also the continuing long arc of the story. The latest in the series just came out August 27, How the Light Gets In. I had pre-ordered it on my nook. (No spoilers, but I loved it. Worth waiting for! Very satisfying read!)

I had a conflict and decided not to go see her. The conflict resolved itself and still I did not make plans to go. I happened to mention Louise Penny was coming and my husband said, “Of course you are going.” Not really as a question. And I said, “No I didn’t think so.” And he replied, “Of course you are going!”

I don’t know why I didn’t jump at the chance to see her. We are connected on Facebook. She posts delightful slivers from her life, which I read every day. She is lovely and so inclusive, very personal and welcoming, as if we knew each other. Perhaps I did not want to have the reality competing with the illusion. Maybe I was feeling shy. In any case, in a burst of light-heartedness I called the library to register and was put on the waiting list. Only a few were ahead of me, I got a call later to confirm my attendance.

This was not my library so the day before I drove past to be sure of directions and parking. An eBook cannot be signed, so what was I going for? Perhaps I had written poems inspired by her books? To find out I scanned my poetic journal going back to 2006. I have written thousands of poems since then, organized into files of 6 months each. In the course of searching for Louise-related poems, I found lots of other poems of interest, especially for my next collection (more soon). And two for Louise.

I checked them over and printed them out to take with me. I thought I might also get a book signed for a friend. And maybe give Louise my CD. That was the plan.

I was early and got parking right in front. I found a seat in the third row and bought the new book for my friend. Louise walked in right on time. She was at ease, gracious and funny, thoughtful and insightful. She talked about how she came to write and the poems she uses in the books. She generously answered questions. I felt wonderful listening to her talk about her writing history. Not that we are the same, or share the same story, but we are both ultimately optimists. We love to read, and love to write. I felt unreasonably encouraged. Uplifted. What a gift!

Afterwards I waited in a long, but well-organized line. When my turn came to talk to her, I handed her the 2 poems and my CD. She graciously received my offering, taking my hand saying how she loved poets. (“Was it ok to read them later?” “Of course,” I said.) I told her I was interested in how creativity prompts further creativity. The librarian organizer took our smiling photo. I felt not shy, but kindred, and welcomed with open arms. An unanticipated feeling of belonging. Thank you!

Here are the two poems.

The Cruelest Month is the title of her third Gamache book (poem also refers to a line from a Leonard Cohen poem and song, Anthem; and Diana Jones who wrote a beautiful song, Cracked and Broken.

11/23/10

Reading The Cruelest Month
(with reference to Leonard Cohen and Diana Jones)

Is there anyone aware who
does not feel a fraud
as if secrets can no longer be hid,

as if the dark outweighs
any achievement—if only
“they” could see past the veil,

the illusion, the image, the lie perpetuated?
Is there anyone who was and remains
so pure and accomplished, so honest,

who never tried to pass
shine for rust,
who in some corner of some cage,

feared discovery, feared…
feared…feared…until blind and deaf to beauty,
until consumed with self-loathing replacing self-discovery?

Can simple love heal the breach;
and the imperfection—the crack that lets the light in—
lets the light in? Forever. Amen.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

Refers to Eric Whitacre, Louise Penny and Anne Lamott. All different and creative people. I love their work, but also learn by watching them being themselves: to be successful, yet remain genuine.

3/28/13

Reception
For and about Eric, Louise, and Anne

I not only
see-hear-read-feel
what you put out,

but how, with what intelligence-
humor-grace-generous heart
you can muster.

How broad your reach,
how humble yet powerful,
how determined-persistent-practical-hopeful

you may do what you must,
with the help that comes
overcome inevitable darkness.

Not thinking of me,
or me exactly, but
I am here soaking it all in,

I am here inspired…
imagining.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2013

All Together: Virtual Choir 4

One of the fun things about Virtual Choir 4: Fly to Paradise (by Eric Whitacre) was finding myself in the crowd of 5905 singers after the video came out in July. Last year, for VC 3 I was not able to see myself, which was fine, the music swept me away anyway. But this year, naturally I wondered if I would be there. I had submitted 3 videos (alto 2, tenor 1, tenor 2). Would that increase my chances? (Note: best to watch the HD version of the video if you can, full screen. Crank up the sound…just sayin’.)

I was lucky this time. I was in a relatively prominent place and found one of my videos, with even a smile while singing. Elisabeth Maria Smith, a VC4 member from Chicago, did an amazing thing: put together an album of over 800 screen shots to help singers find themselves. Thank you Elisabeth for sending me the HD version of the screen shot below. Each time I listen and watch Fly to Paradise, I am greatly moved and proud of us, and see different things in the graphics. It took a huge number of people to make this happen (the credits are longer than the song!).

I knew the video had an impact on me, but I had not anticipated the emotional effect of searching through all the faces (from 101 countries!). No sound to “distract” me. Looking intently at each face in the screen shots. Just the power of all of us together, from all over, connected in some profound and transforming way. Thank you Elisabeth! Of course a poem came from all this.

Virtual Choir 4: Fly to Paradise

From Virtual Choir 4: Fly to Paradise                Under the soloist, I am in the 2nd row down, 2nd from the right

7/16/13

Virtual Choir 4
(watching screen shots by Elisabeth)

To be seen,
to be seen singing,

to allow
sounds to emerge

and release,
to take the step

driven to connect
or belong or create

a tiny piece of beauty,
trusting.

To open heart
and mouth,

let energy go forth
melding with others

in the same quest,
hoping.

To strive and persist,
to learn and teach,

to wait for the outcome,
patient.

To join without boundaries,
to encourage, to support,

to accept grace and be
generous.

To demonstrate flight,
each a feather on a wing,

at least a little bit…
fearless.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2013

You may be interested in other recent Virtual Choir posts
A Portrait of Eric Whitacre
Virtual Choir 4: Bliss

Each Life Is Precious

Washington DC in March Margaret Dubay Mikus Copyright 2004

  March Petals                                                                                              Margaret Dubay Mikus   Copyright 2004

I have been writing a poetic journal since 1995, begun just after healing from multiple sclerosis. In 1996 I was diagnosed with breast cancer, completing treatment (surgery, chemo, and radiation) in 1997. I kept writing, (by hand, in spiral notebooks), but I was unable to get all of the poems edited and entered into the computer. Time went on and I recovered, facing other challenges over the years, balancing being a mother and wife, running a household, with writing and creative projects. At some point I got back to the process of getting my poems in the computer, organizing them in “Books” of six months of writing each. But I never got all those poems from 1997-98 into my files.

A long time passed. My writing changed, getting better I hope, more streamlined, clearer perhaps. But I held onto the idea that I wanted the complete “set” of poems to access for any future projects. The poems, as is any journal, are like memory. What happened? Who was I then, what inspired me?

Every so often over the years, I pulled out the dusty spiral notebooks and made efforts to get caught up. This week I began again in earnest to get all the poems into usable form. Many of them are clearly for my own use only. This is often the case with writing. But some surprised me. Here is one story I came upon tonight.

3/28/98

Each Life Is Precious

I am grateful
for each and every
hair growing on my head,

for eyes that blink
and open wide, that cry
or crinkle,

for every breath drawn in,
for every cell sent oxygen,
for a full heart beating untended

in time to ancient rhythm.
I am grateful for every day,
every minute each a gift,

for feet and hands and lips,
for knees and elbows and hips,
for skin and nails and toes,

for ears and eyebrows,
neck and shoulders,

for back straight
and thighs strong.

All this awareness
this awakening,

dedicated to the one
who was struck by a lemon-colored cab

right before our shocked eyes,
so hard his shoes flew off,

hit so fast and terrible
the body collapsed and lay flat

like a balloon doll with the air let out
or a scarecrow without its stuffing.

In that second, one easy Friday night
the world changed color.

We drove on, as many others came to help, hospital nearby,
we went on in horror, my head cupped in hands,

but not helpless. I sent healing energy
to support the spirit

so recently jolted from physical reality.
I held his ethereal hand as he shook it off

and kept on traveling.
I rubbed my husband’s shoulders,

he massaged my neck and head,
we spoke in hushed reverent tones

and drove carefully home.
I honor the one who gave us this lesson:

All life, every sometimes grating minute
is precious, beyond any earthly measure.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 1998

Letting Go and New Beginnings on Sale!!

2011 LGNB 95 smaller front coverD ebook for Smashwords-2

Take advantage of the Smashwords.com Summer/ Winter Sale for 75% OFF my award-winning book, Letting Go and New Beginnings! This makes it $1!

Go to https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/39211 and enter coupon code SSW75 at checkout. (Code is also in the right column of the book page.)

Supports those who are going through any kind of transition, and aren’t we all! This sale is only on during the month of July, so don’t wait. A great time to check out other Smashwords authors while you are there.

“It’s the story of loving and letting go, the bittersweet feeling all parents feel, all people feel when our cherished ones start to move on. I found the poems to be beautiful and timely—mirroring the transition I find myself in now—letting go, new beginnings. I also love how the imagery of the photographs expresses and compliments the intentions of the poems.
Karen Gottlieb, archetypal consultant, fabric artist, co-owner of International Galleries, and mother of two daughters