“It is hard to be
out of sync with my body.
The body speaks and
I don’t listen,
I try but
don’t entirely succeed
to remember healing
is a process…”
From poem 36, “Perfectly Imperfect,” in my book, Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing. Listen here: https://youtu.be/x5pfX7iigzs
Although I am in some ways the same, I am also different now from the woman who wrote these poems 7 years ago, however revealing and personal. I made it through the times described in the book, to the “other side.” The nature of healing and transformation, of course, is that you are changed at the end. When reading these poems for you now, I inhabit them (and her), open my heart, and deliver. With a bit of distance, I perceive things I was not able to see then. But I am aware of the changes, even the way I write has changed.
I began a poetic journal after healing from multiple sclerosis 21 years ago. My creativity was “cracked open.” The poems act as a kind of truer memory, the details and emotions of an event written down at the time are not subject to the fogginess of remembering things only in my head. If you’ve ever compared recollections of growing up with your siblings, you know what I mean.