Category Archives: As Easy as Breathing

53—“After Lisel Mueller” from “As Easy as Breathing”

Peony from my Driveway, Margaret Dubay Mikus, Copyright 2007

“…be still enough

to hear direction
even when heart

pounds in the darkness…
sometimes….”

From “After Lisel Mueller” in my book, As Easy as Breathing: Reclaiming Power from Healing and Transformation. (p. 286 in the paperback, also in eBook formats) Listen here: https://youtu.be/p-qpdvOrGaA

Before I wrote this poem in mid-May of 1999 I had been deeply discouraged and had decided to stop writing. Lisel Mueller lived near me and, in 1997, had won the Pulitzer Prize for Poetry for her book, “Alive Together.” I already had tickets to hear her speak, so I decided to go. It was life altering. I learned so much from that one talk/reading. Some of her poems soaked into me as if she wrote them specifically for me, and others not as much. During the book signing Lisel Mueller was gracious and generous, taking unhurried time with each person. It felt like we were all at her house for afternoon tea.

This poem “popped out” as I drove home. (I did pull over to write it down.) And I discovered I was not going to stop writing poems, since “After Lisel Mueller” flowed out from me in one piece just like this. The words were very compelling and clear. My energy shifted, I was recharged in every sense of the word. Later I gave her the poem and she wrote back to me with an encouraging handwritten note. I am grateful still.

Let these words flow over you and recharge you. Breathe out and breathe in…

This poem is also track 35 on my CD. You can listen to all tracks here: Full Blooming: Selections from a Poetic Journal.

For more poem videos in the series

Poems for Jenny Cooper

Chicago Botanic Garden Copyright 2016 MDMikus

Chicago Botanic Garden, Copyright 2016 MDMikus

A few years ago, I connected on Facebook with Jenny Cooper, another member of Eric Whitacre’s Virtual Choir. She had a breast cancer diagnosis and I sent her my book, As Easy as Breathing: Reclaiming Power for Healing and Transformation, to help if it could. (I wrote the book during my own cancer journey.) She was in her thirties with a loving husband, Chris, and two young sons. She became a vigorous online presence, healthcare advocate and educator, putting up vivid, honest videos of her ongoing journey. Jenny chose to life fully in every way. Despite aggressive treatment, her cancer returned and continued  to grow.

She went on hospice this summer and is now dying. I wrote these poems in the last few months in support and condolence, to help me as much as anyone. (My youngest sister was also dealing with stage 4 cancer, but is holding on at this point.) I stayed connected with both Jenny and her husband as she declined. I do not know why things happen as they do, but I do know that life has meaning. Jenny’s life touched so many and will continue to.

8/8/16

For Jenny Cooper
and Chris

In the mist
of dying
is the living
compressed

A hand to hold
is everything
a witness
to all of it

What is meaning
anyway, but
knowing you will be
missed

One way you leave
other ways you stay
no way to not be
remembered

Your own personal
flavor of immortality
your peace-heart
expanding out to the sky

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2016

 

8/25/16

For Jenny—One of Our Virtual Choir Family

What did you think
the end would look like?
Not this pain and suffering
more medications not covering
more drugged sleeping.

The bubble you live in
becoming smaller and smaller
time with husband and boys shorter.

Yes, the bucket list accomplished
the daily online posts
that express and convince
connecting still to the outside.
But why is this?
And why you?
A mystery as all of it
unfolds relentlessly.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2016

 

9/10/16

All the Days Are Numbered

Jenny and Chris Cooper

This is what dying looks like
on the good days
like living but sharper
like living but clearer
like living but deeper
the choices and chances more limited now

What is important cuts through the clutter
to take a pain-free breath
to savor a juicy peach
to hear your child’s laugh
to look in the eyes of, talk with,
hold the hand of your beloved

This is what the end looks like up close
at the edge of the unknown
all the love you have gathered to you
all the love you sent back out
This…noticing. This profound…awareness
of the part the path you walk alone…
and never alone, entirely still.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2016

Please share this post if it might help anyone.

In Remembrance and Healing

Should We

be known
by our scars
or by how far
we’ve come since
that wounding?

Could we
look at
where we are,
not
where we’ve been
and what’s been done?

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 1996

I wrote this poem in August of 1996, after surgery for breast cancer and right before chemotherapy. It came to mind today in honor of remembering 9/11/2001. And all the various kinds of scars of life. This is one of my poems I know by heart…and use still in all kinds of challenges. Please feel free to share.

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From my book, As Easy as Breathing: Reclaiming Power for Healing and Transformation

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Listen to it on track 9 of my CD, Full Blooming: Selections from a Poetic Journal

Read these previous 9/11 posts:
On This Particular Day
Poems as Memory

I Am Willing: An Aid to Writing for Personal Revelation

I Am Willing: An Aid to Writing for Personal Revelation

I Am Willing: An Aid to Writing for Personal Revelation

Big news! I will just blurt it out. I just released my latest project: a guided journal based on my poem. “I Am Willing” (from my book, As Easy as Breathing)! This has been in the works for years and I will post more of the stories later. For now, a huge thank you to Anne Schneider (from the International Women’s Writing Guild) who contacted me in April to ask about using the poem in a women’s writing group. Her request got me moving…again.

Here is the brand new link to I Am Willing: An Aid to Writing for Personal Revelation

BOOK DESCRIPTION:
I used my poems as writing prompts when I taught my Expanding Our Possibilities ™ workshop series. To continue supporting writing for healing and personal growth, I created this lovely guided journal based on my poem, “I Am Willing.” The poem has been shared by blogs all over the world. This volume is for you to write, expressing and exploring your dreams and challenges, your hopes and fears. Ideal to use on your own or in a group setting, it also makes a thoughtful gift for someone in the midst of life changes.

The complete poem, from my book, As Easy as Breathing, is included at the start with a brief introduction. A stanza of the poem tops each writing page with ample space for your reflections and revelations. Use this guide however seems right to you. You may begin with the first verse and sequentially work through the poem, or you might open to any line that speaks to you right then. In preparation you can sit quietly, deeply breathing for a few minutes, or read the lines aloud. To get your pen moving you could copy the lines at the top of the page or dive directly into your own writing. Be patient. Trust. Be kind to yourself. Poetry or prose, let the words flow, no concerns about spelling or punctuation. Right now this is for you. Later you can decide if you want to share any of these insights. There is no right way, only what you choose, what feels right in the moment. Write, draw, color, decorate with stickers if you like. Make this books your own. Now begin…

6in by 9in, 70 pages, lined for writing. Check out the cool back cover on Amazon.

This poem has traveled all over the world. More stories to come. Please share.

I Am Willing

I am willing
to change what doesn’t work
for me in my life.

I am willing to listen
with an open heart,
without judging.

I am willing to plant seeds
that take a long time,
if ever, to grow.

I am willing to feel
and let go.

I am willing to make mistakes
and learn from them.

I am willing
to live in the present.

I am willing to forgive
and forget in my heart.

I am willing to love as much
as my endless spirit will allow.

I am willing to be seen
in all my radiance.

I am willing to be fearless.

I am willing to be powerful.

I am willing to be peaceful.

I am willing to stand tall
and walk gracefully.

I am willing to sing with my stunning, full voice.

I am willing to allow.

I am willing to let go.

I am willing to change.

I am willing to see
and be seen.

I am willing to hear
and be heard.

I am willing to feel
and be felt.

I am willing to heal
and be healed.

I am willing to love
and be loved.

I am willing
to be fully human.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 1996

From As Easy as Breathing: Reclaiming Power for Healing and Transformation—Poems, Letters, and Inner Listening

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Christmas Cricket

Merry Christmas! Here is a poem I often post at Christmas, remembering and being grateful. Maybe a chuckle. The context: In 1996 as Christmas approached I had just finished chemotherapy, which had followed surgery and I was just beginning extensive radiation treatment for breast cancer. I was kind of out of it, but trying to function. Our kids were young and my husband and I wanted to have a “normal” Christmas, with gifts and tree and Christmas dinner. Here is it story of that dinner. Enjoy. And share if you wish.

Christmas Cricket

Just when I thought
nothing could shake me,
a cooked cricket
showed up on our Christmas turkey,

not crispy, but thoroughly well done,
black body sprawled across a browned thigh.

Awakened by the warmth of the oven
from winter hibernation
in a dark, safe place—the roaster,

it began the final journey
in ever increasing heat
and then succumbed,
at least where we could see

before taking a crunchy bite.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 1996

From As Easy as Breathing

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and listen to track 19 on my CD, Full Blooming

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