Category Archives: grieving

My Tribute to Pete Seeger

Lone Seagull MDMikus Copyright 2013

Lone Seagull MDMikus Copyright 2013

My family lived in a working-class suburb of Detroit. Mom took care of us (eventually seven kids) and also worked sometimes as a registered nurse. Dad worked in the same factory all his life, mostly midnight shift. He was a card-carrying union man. Our house was originally a two-bedroom bungalow and my Dad partially finished the attic into two more bedrooms (but still only one bathroom). We all had chores and were expected to pitch in. We always had food, shelter, and clothes and did not consider ourselves poor, but hard-working, not many frills, as were most of the people we knew.

I grew up in the 1950’s and 60’s, a singer in church choir and Catholic school chorus. I never met Pete Seeger, nor saw him perform in person, but I was deeply shaped by the Folk Revival he helped spearhead and by his songs. We moved across town in 1965 for us to attend the new Bishop Gallagher High School. Around that time were the Detroit riots and the protest movements were catching fire: against the Vietnam war, against segregation, for peace and equality of race and sex. I sang in the Folk Mass group at church and at some point I learned If I Had a Hammer, Where Have All the Flowers Gone, Turn, Turn, Turn, etc. The music just soaked right into me, in part shaping the clay of who I was becoming.

Shore Rocks in Calm Water MDMikus Copyright 2013

Shore Rocks in Calm Water MDMikus Copyright 2013

Since his death this week I’ve read so many stories posted online of those who knew Pete Seeger and are saddened by his loss. I too wanted to say something about his effect on my life and this poem/song came to me. A unique process from my other writing, and the music still has to be worked out (easy to sing along). But here is the poem/lyrics, my attempt to “catch something of the man.”

1/28/14

My Own Tribute
Pete Seeger, 1919-2014

Although Pete Seeger
traveled here and there,
now he is everywhere.

Though there are those
who would make him saint (or sinner)
he doesn’t care, if he ever did,

for he knows best what we all know
how the days are numbered rare,
now Pete Seeger is everywhere.

Not up on a pedestal I’m sure he’d say,
he was an honest man with a mission,
not down in the gutter either, nor scared,
now Pete Seeger is everywhere.

Singing in his confident voice
inviting us to sing along,
songs that we all know and share,
now Pete Seeger is everywhere.

Not in charge of anything big,
working day to day for the voiceless ones,
a determined “ordinary” man who cared,
now Pete Seeger is everywhere.

All the stories of something kind he said,
from everyone who met him or wished they did,
but when Toshi died last year, he died a bit I swear,
now Pete Seeger is everywhere.

His energy released from form now joins us,
not buried in the ground nor ashes spread,
not in some fancy world “up there,”
now Pete Seeger is everywhere…

singing, playing, chopping wood,
encouraging, traveling, doing good,
planting seeds, making a better place,
playing banjo, eye to eye, face to face,
exhorting us to care, I swear

now Pete Seeger is everywhere.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2014

Update: A few days later I emailed the poem to Rich Warren, who is the host of Folkstage (and The Midnight Special) on WFMT, where Stephen and I are members. I knew Rich would be working on his radio tribute to Pete Seeger and thought he might like it. He said I could read my poem to the audience before Folkstage went on the air. It took me only minutes to agree. In the “spirit of Pete,” the group said the repeating line with me. It was awesome! Thanks, Rich, for the opportunity!

Me at WFMT-- Photo by Stephen Mikus, Copyright 2014

Me at WFMT– Photo by Stephen Mikus, Copyright 2014

Update: Finally, a video of my reading this poem.

 

Inspired by Instrumental “Water Night” by Eric Whitacre

5/15/13

Hope and Directions
Listening Again to Instrumental Water Night

Calm, a sliver
away from sorrow,
but the body
the mind
knows rest in one

Shadows may be
respite…or darkness
lurking to jump out
no matter the security
of the neighborhood

How to follow a line
back to peace
from grief expressed
I wish I could tell you,
but know

there is a lifeline
to pull to shore
or crumbs you left behind
or someone nearby to
hold the vision of safety

And you will…and I will…
walk that line,
not together probably
but sometime…
and return…

And if death overtakes
someone close in the meantime
it is not their grim failure to outrun
but inevitable close of a chapter
however grace-filled and long

And if you believe or consider
we all circle back in some mystery
then, as a circle has no end,
it is not over yet…

And if something stirs up
the mud from the bed of the river
then time will settle every large or small particle
gently to the bottom again
and clarity and calm will rule the realm.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2013

Restoration of Exuberance

Peony in Sun--Margaret Dubay Mikus, Copyright 2006

Peony in Sun–Margaret Dubay Mikus, Copyright 2006

I have come out of a very dark time. One of those rough patches that comes along now and then. Not every minute, but pervasive and often, requiring lots of extra support to get through the days. Totally justified. In one year I lost five people close to me including my Mom and youngest brother. My youngest sister was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. The year before both of my husband’s parents passed away. Left us with the breath knocked out, in a way. I ended up in the hospital with congestive heart failure two weeks after Mom’s death and a long road back to health. Grieving was a major factor I was sure. And this year around Mother’s Day I woke with my heart in a funny rhythm and again in the hospital before it righted itself. Not as bad as last year, but still…

As it approached the anniversary of my mother’s death, I could feel the extra sadness coming toward me like a damp cold. And I felt in some way, if I could only get past that mark, I would be on the road to feeling better. But the grief was so deep and dark. So much writing (which will be helpful later, but put aside for now).

And then a post on Facebook by Elizabeth Gilbert (most well-known as the author of Eat, Pray, Love and Committed) and who gave an awesome TED talk on creativity. She talked about a sudden revelation. She had been waking in the night in fear of divorce, yet there were no problems in her current marriage. The fear was based on the past. And she realized that the past was past. She had been divorced and it was awful and she recovered and did not have to worry about it now. It was past.

And you know when you read something and it is exactly the right thing, as if someone was looking over your shoulder and watching out for you? Well, it was one of those things, exactly right. And just like that, I realized that my mother was gone, I did not have to wake up worrying if this would be the day. And my brother was gone after years of illness and I did not have to wonder if I would get the call. It was over.

And this is the poem. (You knew it was coming…) Thank you to my amazing support team!

7/12/13

Almost 1 Year Later
(July 14 anniversary)

Thank you Elizabeth Gilbert

Mom is dead,
she cannot die again,
the worst has happened,

in the past.
Not awaken every day
wondering if this is the day.

Release anxiety
like fluff in the air
from ripe dandelions,

like habits acquired
from practice or experience,
embedded in nerve nets

so deep-buried, impossible
to return to naiveté…
until this one day

when one person may say:
it is in the past.
It cannot repeat. Release.

And like that,
one finger snap,
it is.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2013

Elizabeth Gilbert has a new book coming out in 13 days, a novel called The Signature of All Things. Looking forward to it. Thank you Thank you!

Virtual Choir 4: Bliss

Mission Bay, CA

Mission Bay, CA                                                                                                             Copyright 2013 MDMikus

I am greatly interested in the way creativity prompts and inspires further creative expression. I think we need more of that. Virtual Choir 3 and 4 (and Eric Whitacre, of course) inspired many poems for me. See links below for previous VC related posts.

In the last year I have lost five people in my immediate circle, including my Mom, whom I was very close to, and my youngest brother. In addition, my dear youngest sister is struggling with stage 4 breast cancer. (Now all four of us girls in my family have had cancer.) The year before both my in-laws died. So I am deeply grieving, trying to work through and process and let go and remember and listen to my inner voice and still take care of my health. For me, singing in VC 4: Bliss was filled with challenges and also huge gifts.

I was driving and began thinking about the many reasons I felt so compelled to sing in Virtual Choir 4 and the phrase “5 minute respite” came to mind. Since I am a poet I have a notebook in the car. I pulled over and followed that thought. The poem below is the result. (5 minutes refers to the approximate time it takes to sing the choir part of VC 4: Bliss once through.)

6/10/13

5 Minute Respite
(VC 4: Bliss)

To sing perchance to dream
when anything is possible
where irretrievable losses
can be restored and
hope refreshed

Melding what is best in each
welding strength to strength
assembled from
determined persistence
to overcome any barriers

Envisioned by the one
encouraged by the team
the whole more
strongly beautiful and real
than any sticky web

of pervasive grief.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2013

Note: Definition of respite (pronounced ‘respit) in the Free Merriam-Webster Dictionary: 1) a period of temporary delay, 2) an interval of rest or relief.

Other Virtual Choir (and Eric Whitacre) posts and poems:
https://www.fullblooming.com/inspiration-and-creation
https://www.fullblooming.com/a-dream-about-eric-whitacre
https://www.fullblooming.com/more-poems-inspired-by-virtual-choir-3-water-night
https://www.fullblooming.com/being-more-fully-yourself

More VC poems to come. What has inspired you lately? What did you do about it?

True Cost of Guns

In looking through my poems from a few years ago, I found this one. Timely. What do you think?

5/2/08

Pure Economics

How casually we sell guns
as if they were
eggs for breakfast,
a pen to write with,
a book yet unread.

Without understanding
the purpose behind action,
the price of inaction,
the graves yet undug.

From manufacture to distribution
to sales, follow the cost,
the opportunities lost,
for each one of us

and charge accordingly.
How few could then
afford to pay
what was asked?

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2008