Category Archives: health

21–“Collagen” from “Frazzle”

Have you ever been discouraged by a problem you worked hard to solve, but it returned? In this part of the story I’m back to dealing with a new hernia, in this case caused by the previous surgeries. I consider the body making collagen (the primary structural protein in our connective tissue) to repair the new breach in my abdominal muscles.

And of course this is about healing at all levels, body, mind, emotions, and spirit—they are not separate. I ask: What might stand in the way of true, permanent healing? What misperceptions or misunderstandings…

“…If I am whole
will the writing stop,
will I cease to hear,

will I forget to pay attention?
What is the ancient deep-seated fear-kernel
of being vibrantly healthy?…”

Poem 21, “Collagen” from Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing. Listen here: https://youtu.be/nXsw2aArGEA

 

 

 

 

For more video poems from Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine

“One Day When I Am Gone” from “Frazzle”

What do I want to say here today, if anything? Sometimes silence is best. Give a little space to breathe, to reflect.

So right now, as you read this, pause for a moment and take a deep breath. If you’re feeling stressed that breath probably stayed in the chest. If you can, give it another go, this time allow the belly to rise with the deep breath in, perhaps like you are filling all the interior space all the way down to the tips of your toes. And then slowly let it out. Perhaps breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth (very grounding). Letting out some of the tightness with the warm out-breath. Repeat if you wish. Let your shoulders drop, allow the tension you are carrying to gently fall off, just for now. Continue breathing…in…out…in…out…  How do you feel now?

For a while, whenever I checked in with my body I felt like I wasn’t breathing. Since I was conscious I must have been breathing, but the energy was not filling me up. And over time this takes its toll. One healthy goal is to retrain myself to breathe like this, from the belly like babies do naturally.

Here is Poem 8 from Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope,and Healing:  https://youtu.be/5t0zK4MglS8

Listen to more video poems from “Frazzle”

“New Hole” from “Frazzle”

I am stubborn, persistent, and determined and that can work for me or against me. My choice. In the case of medical issues, sometimes I don’t see the choice. I feel like I’m stuck and have to keep on, and yet… there’s always some kind of help I’m not seeing. My attitude about the whole thing is something I can choose. I know that deep insights and clarity (and poems) often come to me through health problems, from multiple sclerosis to cancer, hernias to kidney stones, heart failure to extreme allergic reaction to poison ivy, depression to panic attacks, I’ve learned I can heal from most anything. We are all fabulous healers, though the form of that healing may not be what we expected. Think back to every scrape and bruise since babyhood. All gone, the body-mind-spirit is wondrous! I forget, and then I am reminded. I’ve also developed skills to support this healing (or at least get out of my own way). A daily energy balancing practice is one of them, reducing stress and remembering to breathe deeply. I consciously clear away emotional debris from each day, in kindness to myself—on the good days. How about you?

So here is Poem 7 from Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine:   https://youtu.be/L5fGv8RKrY0

Listen to more video poems from “Frazzle”

“For B.R…Again” from “Frazzle”

For as long as I can remember my relationship to rest has been tricky. I’ve struggled to balance action and resting, staying up later and later, sleeping in to compensate or taking naps if I can, pushing my limits. (I am by nature a night person.) Where I live, this time of year the sun sets before 4:30 pm. I may see only a few hours of daylight. I do try to get out for a walk to the pond up the road, which helps. It is not just the hours of sleep, but also the ability to take time for myself, take care of myself. To be kind and set aside the daily burdens and float awhile. Yes, that sounds good. How about you? Do you build quiet time into each day? A good book to disappear into? Meditation or listening to music perhaps?

From Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing, here is your poem (6) for today: https://youtu.be/819n0H8jAtY

Listen to more video poems from “Frazzle”

THROWN AGAIN into the FRAZZLE MACHINE: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing

THROWN AGAIN into the FRAZZLE MACHINE: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing

Poems for Jenny Cooper

Chicago Botanic Garden Copyright 2016 MDMikus

Chicago Botanic Garden, Copyright 2016 MDMikus

A few years ago, I connected on Facebook with Jenny Cooper, another member of Eric Whitacre’s Virtual Choir. She had a breast cancer diagnosis and I sent her my book, As Easy as Breathing: Reclaiming Power for Healing and Transformation, to help if it could. (I wrote the book during my own cancer journey.) She was in her thirties with a loving husband, Chris, and two young sons. She became a vigorous online presence, healthcare advocate and educator, putting up vivid, honest videos of her ongoing journey. Jenny chose to life fully in every way. Despite aggressive treatment, her cancer returned and continued  to grow.

She went on hospice this summer and is now dying. I wrote these poems in the last few months in support and condolence, to help me as much as anyone. (My youngest sister was also dealing with stage 4 cancer, but is holding on at this point.) I stayed connected with both Jenny and her husband as she declined. I do not know why things happen as they do, but I do know that life has meaning. Jenny’s life touched so many and will continue to.

8/8/16

For Jenny Cooper
and Chris

In the mist
of dying
is the living
compressed

A hand to hold
is everything
a witness
to all of it

What is meaning
anyway, but
knowing you will be
missed

One way you leave
other ways you stay
no way to not be
remembered

Your own personal
flavor of immortality
your peace-heart
expanding out to the sky

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2016

 

8/25/16

For Jenny—One of Our Virtual Choir Family

What did you think
the end would look like?
Not this pain and suffering
more medications not covering
more drugged sleeping.

The bubble you live in
becoming smaller and smaller
time with husband and boys shorter.

Yes, the bucket list accomplished
the daily online posts
that express and convince
connecting still to the outside.
But why is this?
And why you?
A mystery as all of it
unfolds relentlessly.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2016

 

9/10/16

All the Days Are Numbered

Jenny and Chris Cooper

This is what dying looks like
on the good days
like living but sharper
like living but clearer
like living but deeper
the choices and chances more limited now

What is important cuts through the clutter
to take a pain-free breath
to savor a juicy peach
to hear your child’s laugh
to look in the eyes of, talk with,
hold the hand of your beloved

This is what the end looks like up close
at the edge of the unknown
all the love you have gathered to you
all the love you sent back out
This…noticing. This profound…awareness
of the part the path you walk alone…
and never alone, entirely still.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2016

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