Category Archives: health

Retrograde: To Look Again

During much of this month (until April 23) the planet Mercury has appeared to be going backwards in the sky (an optical illusion). According to astrologers this is called a period of Mercury Retrograde, when life may seem less smooth, specifically with disruptions in communications. Generally not the best time to sign a major contract or buy a house, for example.

Whether you believe this Mercury retrograde business or not, there does seem to be a time of “shake-up” around that time, and people don’t like it. In a workshop I took years ago, the teacher said this was a time to do things that begin with “re”: Reflect, restore, rejuvenate, replenish, review, rest, relax, redo, renovate, etc. You get the idea. A time to look back, clear out and begin life fresh again. So I do not dread these times, when my computer or internet seems more likely to be off kilter, I try to take care of myself and clear off my desk (an ongoing challenge) and not take it personally. A great time to get a massage, take a walk, breathe deeply, do yoga, re-connect with old friends…

Here is a poem I began while getting a massage with Brigitte, thinking about restoration of body, mind, emotions and spirit.

Note: Khofu was a pharaoh in ancient Egypt. In 1954 a ship (solar barge) was discovered buried at the base of the great pyramid of Giza. The ship is held together by a sophisticated system of ropes stitched through holes in the planks.

4/6/11

During Retrograde
After Brigitte

From Jell-O or pudding
reconstitute a human

build muscle in lattice of bone
use ligament and tendon

to lash the boat together
like the great ship of Khofu

that lasted four thousand years and counting
Remake organs from blueprints

found in memories’ closet
that box on the top shelf never opened

but now essential
for restoration, renovation, revolution

The eyes of innocence, not naïve or wary
but open to beauty

The ears, the tongue fresh from the factory
brain, heart, programmed for compassion

Blood courses through the map
of newly laid arteries and veins

The pump begins again
Nerves reflexively control all motion

all manner of sensation
Cleansed of barnacles of tension

washed free of grime and lampblack
covering innate light

All in all, all is well
considering…

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2011

Happy Birthday, Alex!!

Mini-Review of 2010, Part 1

I remember 2010 as a very difficult year. And in many ways, that is true. But when viewed from a bit of distance, it was mixed, really, with low and high points. I don’t want to spend too much time there, but I do want to wrap it up as a way of going forward. First: the challenges. Last: the delights.

Today’s topic: A Major Challenge.

In February, 2010, after many months of body-mind-spirit energy healing work, I had my third surgery for an abdominal hernia, repairing damage partly due to previous surgeries. There were unexpected post-surgery complications, pain, and a long recovery. Not much writing. For a while I was physically unable to write and mentally foggy. I also did not want to remember the details, which caused flashbacks. Here are two short poems and photos from that time.

2/11/10

Comfort

Sometimes the need for comfort is so acute,
the circumstances so dire and dark,
the vortex you are pulled into so nightmarish,

everything taken away: food, water, sleep, all the familiar,
that you can’t find yourself within yourself,
you are a skin filled with nothing in particular

and it seems you will always be lost.
Even if someone is there who knows you well,
whose voice is the tether to reality,

who casts the line, holds the rod that reels you in,
even then
the need for comfort is so great

that anything from home,
any ice chip or thoughtfulness,
any kindness or generous voice

calls you back to hopefulness.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

2/24/10

Room on Cardiology Floor

I can still feel her surprisingly soft lips
pressing on my forehead,
a good bye and good luck kiss as she left.

My roommate, sweet Italian lady,
both of us not our best, faces pale,
hair tangled and matted.

Her husband, most kind, friendly
and hopeful. Full of stories with
ambulances and happy endings. How he’d

been recognized in the grocery store by the ambulance driver.
How she’d had a seizure maybe
and he’d carried her to the door

though he had a pacemaker and they were older.
And all her surgeries and still her spunk.
“Good bye,” she said, “It will be fine,”

or something like that in her gentle Italian accent,
pressed into my hopeless forehead.
Unexpected, spontaneous, natural, and welcome.

Three weeks later I feel the kiss still.
Her easy gesture, her faith,
her sweet kindness.

Of course she was right.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2010

Tomorrow: the Delights

Honoring The Body

Sometimes I feel at odds with my body or frustrated or discouraged or disappointed. So much has happened to me. I wrote the first poem below after the lessons of breast cancer treatment and recovery, the second one just before another cancer diagnosis nine years later. During rough times, I may read it aloud to myself. Perhaps you have those times too.

Let the Body Speak

if it wants rest…
give rest,

if it wants motion…
give motion.

Do not nag or numb,
poke or prod,
just listen

to the ancient wisdom
spoken in language
older than any other.

Let the Body speak
in quiet, even tones,

let the Body speak
without shouting in anger

at such long neglect,
at such secondary status.

We inhabit this particular Body,
which is in our care,

for good reason,
not to frustrate us

with tests we can’t pass,
not to beat on mercilessly

“no pain, no gain,”
but to protect our luminosity,

to enjoy, to love, to grow with.
Let the Body speak

and then listen
and act on its behalf.

The Body knows precisely
what it needs, just ask…

and listen.
Be gentle, approaching

as you would a wary puppy;
put out your hand and edge closer.

The Body is familiar with deceit,
with promises made and not kept.

Trust will take time to build;
it is so easy to fall back

into old familiar patterns.
But I tell you this:

we will not regain full power
until the Body is an equal partner.

Let the Body speak…
and listen.

4/22/07

Love and Only Love

Love with every stroke of the shaver,
with every lather of soap, slather of lotion, love.

Not impatience, not frustration, not disgust
at varicose veins, sags, wrinkles, scars,

but love,
with every look, every caress

at the power, the strength,
the beauty of this body in my care.

Love with every glance in the mirror
every wry smile, every tear.

Love, love and only love.
Yes, other thoughts slip in,

let them slip out,
no recrimination, no justification.

Love with every stroke,
healing in my touch, breath

and blink of an eye.
Love, love and only love.

“Let the Body Speak” is from As Easy as Breathing

Also recorded on my CD, Full Blooming: Selections from a Poetic Journal Listen here

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