Category Archives: poetry

“Meltdown”– Reading 3 from “Frazzle”

I got back late tonight from a lovely, energizing outing. Stephen and I went to a Folkstage concert (Jan Krist, who was awesome) and then a birthday dinner for a friend. Still, I am committed to doing these short videos. I centered myself and drank some water. I allowed myself to dump the one flubbed reading and then uploaded the second one. (This process has to be easy if I’m going to go the distance.)

I want to say I am grateful to Amanda Palmer, artist, singer-songwriter, performer, best-selling author and so much more. I’ve learned a lot from her about letting go of the creations you make.

So here is “Meltdown,” the 3rd poem in the video series from Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine. Perhaps this speaks for you as well. Seems like I wrote it for today, right?   https://youtu.be/5YV70CP5ICI

Listen to more poems from “Frazzle”

THROWN AGAIN into the FRAZZLE MACHINE: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing

THROWN AGAIN into the FRAZZLE MACHINE: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing

Reading “For Lisa D’E” from “Frazzle”

Today’s poem was harder to record than yesterday when I was in the flow of energy from my fresh inspiration. It was not the subject matter, but me. I definitely had “expectations.” A part of me wanted to do it right and that is a familiar trap. I was tempted to keep recording over and over, but that is not the point of this. These poems are me sitting with you at my kitchen table, reading aloud as I’ve been doing for 21 years. A natural human connection, two real people, me and you. And so I offer Poem #2 from Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing, for our ongoing conversation: https://youtu.be/jbTen3d-s_8

Listen to more poems from “Frazzle”

THROWN AGAIN into the FRAZZLE MACHINE: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing

A Lifeboat through Hard Times: Reading Poems from “Frazzle”

What can I do to help, to heal myself and all around me? For weeks I have been sitting with this and also knowing deep inside what I needed to do–though not all the details. (See Elizabeth Gilbert’s recent post). Yesterday, in an aha moment, it came to me. So… (deep breath)…I will be reading the poems from my book, “Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing,” one per day, starting at the beginning and posting a video. Twenty-one years ago, after healing from multiple sclerosis, I began a poetic journal. “Frazzle” has selected poems from 5 of those years, 2009-2014. My original understanding was that this book was a “lifeboat through hard times.” I still believe that. And I offer these poems with that intention. So… here we go. Poem 1, “Loving Detachment”: https://youtu.be/y2-uvYyofl8

Listen to more poems from “Frazzle”

THROWN AGAIN into the FRAZZLE MACHINE: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing

In Response to Recent Events

11/9/16

Election Results

Even after tonight—
the darkest star-cast night—
the sun will rise on a new morning.
What we do, each and every one
with what hand has been dealt
defines us, shapes what comes.

Even in this uncertain fog
do not succumb to despair.
We have been there before
when the worst happened
a life-threatening diagnosis
and yet…
time passed and here we are.

To be loving in the midst of this
I know it is impossible yet
I ask … and promise.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2016

I wrote this poem out of a need to express strong feelings, one moment before reading a thoughtful Facebook post by Joyce DiDonato (opera singer, teacher, and healer). Her language was almost exactly the same as mine (synchronicity) and I commented about that, quoting the last three lines of this new poem. Through our loving intention (via the internet) we connected with many others. Here is the entire poem, perhaps it might speak to or for you. Please share if you think it could help someone. Thank you.

Sunset As the Road Home Darkens, Copyright 2016 by MDMikus

Sunset As the Road Home Darkens, by MDMikus, Copyright 2016

Poems for Jenny Cooper

Chicago Botanic Garden Copyright 2016 MDMikus

Chicago Botanic Garden, Copyright 2016 MDMikus

A few years ago, I connected on Facebook with Jenny Cooper, another member of Eric Whitacre’s Virtual Choir. She had a breast cancer diagnosis and I sent her my book, As Easy as Breathing: Reclaiming Power for Healing and Transformation, to help if it could. (I wrote the book during my own cancer journey.) She was in her thirties with a loving husband, Chris, and two young sons. She became a vigorous online presence, healthcare advocate and educator, putting up vivid, honest videos of her ongoing journey. Jenny chose to life fully in every way. Despite aggressive treatment, her cancer returned and continued  to grow.

She went on hospice this summer and is now dying. I wrote these poems in the last few months in support and condolence, to help me as much as anyone. (My youngest sister was also dealing with stage 4 cancer, but is holding on at this point.) I stayed connected with both Jenny and her husband as she declined. I do not know why things happen as they do, but I do know that life has meaning. Jenny’s life touched so many and will continue to.

8/8/16

For Jenny Cooper
and Chris

In the mist
of dying
is the living
compressed

A hand to hold
is everything
a witness
to all of it

What is meaning
anyway, but
knowing you will be
missed

One way you leave
other ways you stay
no way to not be
remembered

Your own personal
flavor of immortality
your peace-heart
expanding out to the sky

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2016

 

8/25/16

For Jenny—One of Our Virtual Choir Family

What did you think
the end would look like?
Not this pain and suffering
more medications not covering
more drugged sleeping.

The bubble you live in
becoming smaller and smaller
time with husband and boys shorter.

Yes, the bucket list accomplished
the daily online posts
that express and convince
connecting still to the outside.
But why is this?
And why you?
A mystery as all of it
unfolds relentlessly.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2016

 

9/10/16

All the Days Are Numbered

Jenny and Chris Cooper

This is what dying looks like
on the good days
like living but sharper
like living but clearer
like living but deeper
the choices and chances more limited now

What is important cuts through the clutter
to take a pain-free breath
to savor a juicy peach
to hear your child’s laugh
to look in the eyes of, talk with,
hold the hand of your beloved

This is what the end looks like up close
at the edge of the unknown
all the love you have gathered to you
all the love you sent back out
This…noticing. This profound…awareness
of the part the path you walk alone…
and never alone, entirely still.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2016

Please share this post if it might help anyone.