Category Archives: self-care

Self-Kindness

Self-Kindness

For a dear friend (and me)

To let yourself
be yourself
even encourage those aspects
that have been hidden
to come into the sun
even those facets you thought
you could reveal to no one.

To baptize the whole
with kindness
that is enough
you are enough
on your chosen journey
of loving acceptance.
Be gentle and kind to you as if

you were someone else.
Remember you cannot give
from your essence
depleting your core strength
but only from your excess.
So practice just this one thing:
self-kindness

to build the reserves
from which you can draw
in service.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2014

This poem ends my book, Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing. It has been popping into my head for a week, so here it is. For me to remember…and maybe you too?

THROWN AGAIN into the FRAZZLE MACHINE: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing

Another Day

4/14/20

Another day
another news briefing
depending on who says
the weight of it all
heavy or heavier
in the daily fog
of uncertainty

I am choosing
and again and again
to mostly not listen
not in denial
head in the sand
but in determination
to not drown

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2020

Every day trying to find the balance between knowing enough, but not too much. Perhaps you too?

The Bridge

Bridge Reflection, from my Life Support Cards (TM)

9/25/20

The Bridge

Way back
I would stand on the bridge
or stand by the river
and throw petals on the water
letting my troubles float
downstream.

It was a relief
I often sought
the peace, the beauty
the soft insistent water
sometimes higher level, sometimes lower.
I no longer remember

the last time I went
or why I stopped going
why that place of solace
ceased to bring comfort
but though I still live near
I never go there.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2020

I wanted to post a poem that was not about chaotic current events, but reflection. Maybe some peace and calm.

Tulips and Grape Hyacinth, on the Bridge, from my Life Support Cards (TM)

Our Future, Still Being Written

6/20/18

Listening to Amelia Curran
After Hours of Reading

If this is all there is
and you have forgotten the rest
and if you cannot keep from
the seduction of despair
I understand
and
hold out a hand.
Rest a while
in the shade of favorite music
or vacation in a favorite book.
No shame in resting,
I understand
and
give permission
as for you
as for me.
And if in the barrage of news
every bit worse than the last
and tears well up and head hangs
still, I would urge you to remember
what is real,
who you are, have always been,
the long perspective.
A marathon requires pacing
replenishment, an eye on the far-off goal
as you put one foot in front of the other
as your heart beats and muscles ache
as you breathe
and breathe
and
remember.
You have trained for this:
Every challenge, hard time, tragedy, trauma
you found strength to heal and endure
and now you are called on for more.
Those faltering for now
are aided by others
who will in turn
need help.
Like geese in a “V”
stronger together, each leader in turn
falls back, resumes.
Yes, this is not what you sought
but this is what was sown,
the past playing out
but not necessarily
our future, still being written.

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2018

Note: Amelia Curran is a Canadian singer-songwriter I heard of from Peter Mulvey (an incredible American singer-songwriter). Listening to music and reading is how I have been getting through some personally dark days and high anxiety.

I found this recent poem while looking for something else. Although written this past June, it was as if I had written it to encourage and support myself — and others– right now, the week of the midterm election. A reminder to breathe, to rest when needed, to help each other, to take the long view, to vote. I offer this to you in kindness, as my way of holding out a hand. Hang in there, dear ones.

November Sunset, M D Mikus, Copyright 2017

Antidote to Anxiety

8/13/15

Antidote to Anxiety

Breathe
Easy to say, but to do?
guided imagery
therapy
Star of Bethlehem
Songs for the Inner Child
notice/practice

Breathe
count in and out and breathe
affirm and breathe
I am Peace (in)
I am Calm (out)
I am Safe (in)
I am Protected (out)
Seal Lullaby

Breathe
Balance energy
head hug
Cook’s Hook-ups
Stress relief remedies, but
not too much
imagine the scarves being pulled
out like from a magic top hat

Breathe…and count
1…2…3…in and 1…2…3… out
Drug a little, not like it
but necessary boat to get by for a while
Dig to the root cause
not everything has to be
solved at once

Breathe
manage pain
notice/practice
count
listen to Hildegard von Bingen chant
water outside plants

Breathe
stand face to the sun
call for help
receive
massage
acupuncture
healing energy

Breathe
kindness
rest
imagine restoration of optimism
Let belly rise and fall
like a baby breathes
open in the moment
Right here. Right now.
Distraction
Reading
2 bunnies in the yard
2 birdbaths and birds come
to drink and bathe
movies
Facebook

Breathe
hydrate
Breathe
eat good food
breathe
rest

wait

Margaret Dubay Mikus
© 2015

This poem is from a collection I assembled for my youngest sister, who is struggling with stage 4 breast cancer. I wrote it as a reminder to myself of what I did to reduce anxiety the summer I had a series of medical crises including kidney stones, etc.