Category Archives: women

39–“How to Not Feel a Failure” from “Frazzle”

On Rt. 60, Heading into the Sunset, by M D Mikus, Copyright 2016

“…How to remember grace and be grateful?
How to be patient and trust…
enough?”

From Poem 39, “How to Not Feel a Failure,” in my book, Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing. Listen to poem here: https://youtu.be/BC2X7WMQmT8

You’ve probably had days (or longer) when you were most aware of not succeeding at what you most desired, had focused all your energy on. For me, on this particular day writing this poem, it was all the healing that had not happened, all the “failures.” I was not thinking about all the problems I no longer had, the MS being gone, cancer not a factor, being able to walk easily…and on and on. All problems that at one time were my primary longing. No, I was most aware of all the healing working its way into my attention, what was yet to resolve. And now, from this vantage point, 7 years later, most big problems of that time are gone. It is good to remember…

For more poem videos from “Frazzle”

THROWN AGAIN into the FRAZZLE MACHINE: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing

37–“Where We Are in the Story” from “Frazzle”

Heavy Snow–Before Tree Breaks by M D Mikus, Copyright 2015

“…The top of the uterus is thick
as if just beginning to hold promise,

the bottom thinned to almost nothing
appropriate for her years.

What to say about this
top/bottom dichotomy…”

From “Where We Are in the Story?” in my book, “Thrown Again in the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing.” Listen to the entire poem here: https://youtu.be/VnKSdeVNB1U

We are shaped by what happens to us, and what we do with that. Out of hardship may come an awareness of strength and endurance. We may learn to appreciate and be grateful when life goes more smoothly. We may develop compassion for others going through the same challenges and for ourselves when darkness comes again. As my sister said to me tonight, we are only aware of light in the darkness.

My mother was a nurse and when we were growing up she used medical terms to call parts of the body by their proper names. I have a Ph.D. in Microbiology and am familiar with using scientific language. These things, (and many others), are woven into the way I write. You can see the science influence more in some poems, like this one, than in others. The language is matter–of-fact and lacks any squeamishness, one facet of telling the story.

For more poem videos from “Frazzle”

THROWN AGAIN into the FRAZZLE MACHINE: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing

31–“Mirror: For Jan Gerber” from “Frazzle”

Dusk at Chicago Botanic Garden by M D Mikus Copyright 2015

“You are the seed crystal
the often unsung hero,

the gatherer, the glue,
the creative spark,

the tranquil reflecting pool…”

From Poem 31, “ Mirror: For Jan Gerber,” in my book, Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing. Listen here: https://youtu.be/4nL_goJyr-g

Does this sound like you or someone you know, the one always holding things together?

Background:
In 2000 I met Jan Gerber when she curated and coordinated “Women’s Journeys in Fiber,” the first in a series of “process projects” by a group of women artists based in Chicago. That year the group, reflecting on their spiritual journeys, created incredible and diverse mantles (long vests), beautifully displayed at the Chicago Botanic Garden. I was inspired to write the poem, “Mantles of Transformation,” which traveled with the exhibit and appeared in the book on the Mantles project.

When they decided to have a 10-year retrospective exhibit in 2010, Jan asked me to read it at the opening. I readily agreed. In the meantime I also wrote “Mirror: For Jan Gerber” about her. I read it as well (as a surprise). Here are my previous blog posts, including the poems.

For other poem videos in the “Frazzle” series

29–“Purpose?” from “Frazzle”

Looking Back While Moving Forward, Margaret Dubay Mikus Copyright 2014

The uterus as metaphor, as symbol, as well as the actual physical organ, is one ongoing thread in Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine. (As you will see, one of the later poems gave the book its title.) Many women “of a certain age” have issues with the winding down of their fertility, the cycling of their hormones. Some women grieve the loss, some celebrate the freedom, the ending of one life purpose and

“…continual re-birthing of…
my Life”

Poem 29, “Purpose?” in my book, Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing. Listen here: https://youtu.be/o-olV3JyPAU

What is your story?

For more poem videos in the “Frazzle” series

27–“You Can Ask” from “Frazzle”

Years ago I had the idea for a series of poem-videos. In 2014 I finally posted four short videos (one was a song). I got tangled in all “my stuff.” You know what I mean: not being good enough, or not quite the right time, or ongoing life challenges, or needing to be perfect, or fearful of looking foolish, etc. And nothing more happened until this December.

I had an “aha” moment and realized I needed to read these poems aloud to give myself a positive focus and possibly also help others. My book, Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine, was meant to be “a lifeboat through hard times,” among other things. I knew from long experience that reading aloud was the most powerful way to deliver these poems. And so, 27 days ago, I began: starting at poem 1 and reading a poem a day (in chronological order).

“… No longer need to please
anyone but myself…”

From poem 27, “You Can Ask,” in my book, Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing. Listen to the entire poem here: https://youtu.be/Vnc6ZyPUFGY

What holds you back from doing something helpful? Can you take one step?

For more poem videos from “Frazzle”