Category Archives: writing

19–“This Big Thing” from “Frazzle”

This poem feels especially appropriate for today, when there seem to be huge mountains challenging us to climb. To take the first step, to trust and join with the rest, and just do it.

“…From fearful to sure,
or sure enough
to take one step…
then another, not necessarily big leap.

Not to erase the past,
but creating the future, your future…”

Poem 19, “This Big Thing,” from Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing. Listen here: https://youtu.be/rR_SAhCofhs

Although one original inspiration for this poem was our extensive home remodeling, it also applied to the ongoing healing process for me. What might “this big thing” refer to in your own life?

    For more video poems from Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine

14–“Scene: The Future” by Margaret Dubay Mikus

Some background:
In 2007 I was diagnosed with my third breast cancer tumor following a routine mammogram. Further testing showed I carry a BRCA 2 mutation, one of the genes which can lead to an increased risk of cancer. (My molecular genetics science-self found this to be a very interesting gene–as long as I didn’t think of it as affecting me.) I was stunned. This was 11 years after my previous cancer diagnosis and I thought I was done with all that.

It was summer. I sat on my garden swing in the back of the yard, to let the fear subside. I listened to my inner guidance and let the answer come to me…what to do? After gathering information and consulting with many people: doctors, family, dear friends, I decided to have the bilateral (double) mastectomy. Since I had so much radiation with the previous treatment, the tissue was very scarred and I did not to do reconstruction, a very personal choice. This is the kind of decision that jars you not just at the time, but later, when grief for what is lost can surface unexpectedly.

Writing continued to be essential to me during that time. Although not many of those poems have been published, my chapbook, New Year’s Eve Surgery, has a few poems I collected to give to my medical team. I needed them to know something about me—after all, they would be doing a very personal surgery and had not even met me beforehand. My sister had the idea for the entire medical team to sign my copy of the chapbook and they wrote me amazing healing notes of support. My poems changed the conversations from very medical and impersonal to very human and healing.

What insights came to you through medical experiences?

In Poem 14, “Scene: The Future,” from Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine, I am thinking ahead to a future when cancer treatment may have changed a lot. Listen here: https://youtu.be/05q2-bgEpQo

Listen to more video poems from “Frazzle”

THROWN AGAIN into the FRAZZLE MACHINE: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing

13–“The Crack Between” by Margaret Dubay Mikus

With our complex lives, sometimes there is only a tiny space to write, when inspiration insists. Here is a poem that came through that space one day. Poem 13, “The Crack Between,” from Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing:   https://youtu.be/35taG1fpLOo

When I first started writing my poetic journal 21 years ago, I had spiral notebooks stashed everywhere, so whenever a poem came to me I could write it down. I would even jump back out of bed at night…multiple times. I was intoxicated by the creative impulse. I knew if I waited, those specific compelling words would vanish and that poem would be gone.

After a point I realized I had to have some balance. I needed sleep, I had to pay attention driving, I had other responsibilities to myself and to family and friends. And so I made a decision to limit writing time (with a few exceptions). I don’t sit at my desk and spend a designated amount of hours each day. I write poems wherever I am when words come to me that intrigue, that seem to be leading to somewhere interesting. (Unlike ordinary thoughts, the opening lines of a poem seem “highlighted” in some way.) I still have notebooks in several places, but fewer. I rarely jump up from bed at night, though a poem may come out of a dream upon waking.

I consider these poems a divine gift, a sacred trust. And if I write something for someone, I try my best to get it to them. I hear the words and that is how I write them on the page, so that you can “hear” them too.

How do you find balance in your life between the inner and outer demands?

Listen to more video poems from Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine

US Review of Books: Recommends Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine

THROWN AGAIN into the FRAZZLE MACHINE: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing

Exciting news to share with you! My book, “Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine,” is Recommended by US Review of Books! Yay! I am most grateful. Here is the review:

Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing by Margaret Dubay Mikus, Ph.D., Three Heart Press, reviewed by Donna Ford

“…take this lifeboat with me through some rough seas and calm, into the streaming light on the far shore. Let me tell you a story…”

Whether in the midst of a stormy period of life or having recently passed through such a time, you will instantly relate to what the author means by being thrown into the Frazzle Machine. Beating multiple sclerosis, breast cancer, and other health issues, Mikus remains so much more than a survivor. Taking inspiration from her full life as a wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend, she demonstrates how to overcome.

This collection of poignant poems resonates with the input of two halves of one skillful poet. The research biologist can be recognized by her wielding of medical knowledge and naming body parts unmentionable in polite company. The living woman pours out her experiences on behalf of readers who need support to pull themselves up by the bootstraps and move into future healing. Mikus’ sensitive words warm the reader similar to the gentle touch of a friend on the sufferer’s shoulder. Balancing the high drama inherent in hospital stays and visits is a series of poems titled “Evening Walks.” Vivid colors of the sky, trees, and glowing paths fade into evening to bring elements of peaceful closure to the often tiresome days of life.

Mikus has previously proven her skill as a poet of note by winning an Eric Hoffer award for As Easy As Breathing. Her lines of poetry are short and rhythmic, almost like a heartbeat. Punctuation is fluid to maintain the steady flow of thoughts and experiences. Repetition of key phrases is a technique used for emphasis, for example, “be loving… be joyful… be a good example.” The book is to be commended for its extensive Table of Contents and a Time Line covering events in the poet’s life between 2009 and 2014. These two organizational strategies help tie a specific poem to an actual life event.

RECOMMENDED by the US Review
© 2016 All Rights Reserved

“Floating on Sitar Notes and Drum Beats” from “Frazzle”

I usually carry a small notebook and a pen. (I write my poems in longhand and then put into them the computer.) I try not to write when I’m out with other people. It seems rude to ignore them and pay attention to my inner voices, however compelling. Sometimes the call to write is so strong I give in to it (with apologies). This poem was one of those times.

Stephen and I were out for Valentine’s Day dinner at an Indian restaurant we had often gone to. This time, unexpectedly, there was live music and a special menu. The sitar and drums and the ambiance, both familiar and altered, insisted I catch that…something…

And so I wrote during dinner putting down a line or two as we ate, still paying attention to my husband. As I observed the scene with great awareness, the smells of curry and other herbs, the vivid colors, listening intently to the music as it swirled around me, letting it shape the lines. All of it woven into what was happening in my life, my healing practice.

Consider closing your eyes and allow the scene to play out in your imagination as you listen. What does this evoke in you? Do you have any music that sweeps you away to somewhere else?

Here is your poem for today, from Thrown Again into the Frazzle Machine: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing:  https://youtu.be/po8SkL_N3Q8

Listen to more poems from “Frazzle”

THROWN AGAIN into the FRAZZLE MACHINE: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing

THROWN AGAIN into the FRAZZLE MACHINE: Poems of Grace, Hope, and Healing